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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871912">Daily Daiken Drabbles</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okikage/pseuds/Okikage'>Okikage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Whump, Whumptober 2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:54:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okikage/pseuds/Okikage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles based on random words given to me every day from the daiken server. Spans every aspect of their relationship, pre-relationship to established life together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ichijouji Ken/Motomiya Daisuke | Davis Motomiya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Daiken Discord Server</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. June</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I started this project a month ago, I wanted to write every day as daily practice, and thought it would be fun to do an exactly 100-word Drabble for The Boys. I’ve been posting them as screenshots on my twitter every day, but now that there’s 30 (I’ve been doing this for a month, without missing a day, yaaaay) I’m putting them on here!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You want a snack?” Daisuke took a quick detour into his family’s kitchen, wrenching the fridge open while casting nervous glances towards Ken.<br/>
“I don’t want to be a bother...” Ken blushed and tucked some hair behind his ear. “I really... whatever you want is fine.”<br/>
“Ooh, mikan!” Daisuke pulled out a mandarin and rolled it in his palms before holding it out for Ken.<br/>
“Eat it!” Daisuke opened his own mandarin, tearing the skin apart.<br/>
“Okay.”<br/>
Daisuke stared at Ken as he popped a slice of the fruit in his mouth, intense and unwavering, and Ken blushed even harder.</p>
<hr/><p>He could feel it in his muscles and bone. When the night was particularly dark, Wormmon in the Digital World, no one to hold him through the nightmares - he could feel it, feeding, trying to grow, a persistent itch in the back of his neck he could never scratch away. He was tainted, unworthy, broken.<br/>
It was better nights he stayed with Daisuke. He would sneak latching onto Daisuke’s hand as it fell off the edge of his bed and into Ken’s space, the poison under his skin would back off, killed by the bright cleansing of Daisuke’s sunny soul.</p>
<hr/><p>The line of Ken’s opponent cut through the air as he flipped him over his shoulder. Daisuke suppressed a shout of glee as he jumped from his seat, watching the way Ken’s whole body bent and swayed.<br/>
Ken twisted at the waist so far around he caught a glimpse of Daisuke and gave the tiniest wave.<br/>
After the match, Ken met Daisuke in the locker room.<br/>
“You were amazing.” Daisuke grazed his fingers down Ken’s spine as he shrugged off his gi, feeling Ken shiver.<br/>
“I made eight mistakes.”<br/>
“You’re gorgeous.” Daisuke leaned further in, and Ken tilted into it.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken’s wrist was so thin, Daisuke could see the veins running underneath. His fingers were long and slender, snappable. The way they moved along Daisuke’s wound, covered in flecks of blood, made the contrast with his papery skin more obvious.<br/>
“Idiot! Why did you jump in front of me?” Ken’s voice wavered as he staunched the blood with his shirt.<br/>
Daisuke smiled, watching Ken’s eyes as tears fell, his narrow face wet, and Daisuke wanted to wipe it away.<br/>
“Don’t cry, Ken. You’re okay.”<br/>
“You dummy! What about you?”<br/>
Daisuke reached towards Ken’s cheek. “Please stop crying.”<br/>
“You matter too, idiot!”</p>
<hr/><p>Ken pulled the stuffed bear out of its prison inside a hastily packed up and hidden box. It still had the little scar from where it had ripped and Osamu had clumsily sewn it back up for him. He collapsed back against the wall, clutching the little thing to his chest, letting tears fall down and hit its soft fur.<br/>
“What’s that?” Daisuke’s voice cut through his fugue, and Ken looked into eyes shimmering with concern.<br/>
“My bear. I... I lost it.” After a funeral and an email and a lost year of fragmented time.<br/>
“Glad you found it then!”</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke’s hand on Ken’s knee distracted him from what their guide was saying.<br/>
“And this is the Honey Citron, with a beautiful citrus aftertaste.” He held up a pale golden bottle.<br/>
He accepted the bit of honey poured onto a small piece of bread, popping it into his mouth. Daisuke’s gaze was boring holes into him even as he chewed on his own piece of honey soaked confection.<br/>
When Ken tried the explosion of sweetness from the maple honey, he moaned softly and felt Daisuke squeeze his knee through his light pants.<br/>
“Let’s get more of that one for later.”</p>
<hr/><p>Ken stood carefully tilted away from the waves lapping on the sand behind him as Daisuke was spun aggressively.<br/>
“You can do it, Daisuke!”<br/>
Daisuke, spurned by his words, marched directly in the wrong direction and created a small crater in the sand.<br/>
“Oops.”<br/>
Before he knew it, Daisuke had swept off the blindfold and pulled it across Ken’s eyes, plunging him in darkness. His breathing grew shallow, kept in space only by Daisuke’s hands spinning him around.<br/>
The dark was too much. His mind screamed for Daisuke, and found his heartbeat, strong and steady.<br/>
He whacked the stick down.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken rolled his shoulders in front of the ramen shop, trying to avoid Daisuke noticing. At Ken’s slightest hiss, Daisuke was by him, taking his chin in his hand.<br/>
“You okay?”<br/>
“Just a little tight.”<br/>
“Let me loosen you up.” Daisuke stepped behind Ken, thumbs digging under shoulder blades and palms pushing them down and in, a delicious stretch and ache.<br/>
“<em>Shit</em>, that feels good.” Ken melted, letting Daisuke grapple and take away Ken’s piles of stress and worry.<br/>
“Ken,” Daisuke whispered, craning up, “Still hungry?”<br/>
Ken shook his head slightly. “Let’s go home so I can return the favor.”</p>
<hr/><p>The flowers of the Digital World were just familiar enough that Ken could roughly identify what the blooms were supposed to be, but each one was too perfect. The stems were too long and the bends he made in them as he worked were a little uncanny.<br/>
Ken threaded together the almost lilies, creating a loose circle with the bells pointing outward from the center.<br/>
“Daisuke.”<br/>
“Hey Ken! Where’d you disappear off to?”<br/>
“I... I found some flowers.” Ken held up his ring. “I made this for you.”<br/>
Daisuke laid the crown above his goggles and grinned broadly, looking angelic.</p>
<hr/><p>It hurt to look back, to know something was <em>missing</em> and be unable to see. Worst was the way Osamu slipped away. Each year, the memories he managed to hold onto through it all, getting fuzzier and harder to draw back up.<br/>
One day, Ken might forget it all, as the gaping hole in his Digital World travels swallowed up the rest of his childhood.<br/>
Daisuke helped. Filled the holes with love and understanding, made Ken feel whole despite the breaks. Something big, important, <em>gone</em>.<br/>
How did it happen? Ken wanted to find it, remember, where did it come from?</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke on the field was impossible to look away from. He wasn’t the fastest or strongest - some plays incredibly sloppy, a pileup of teammates that Ken craned to keep up with Daisuke’s shock of burgundy spikes.<br/>
His eyes drank in Daisuke, throwing his all into the game, sweat flecking off his face. When he lifted his shirt to wipe his brow, Ken stared at the strip of golden skin on Daisuke’s belly.<br/>
At the final whistle, Ken felt shivers up his spine seeing Daisuke collapse with hands on knees, suppressing the desire to fling himself on the field, get closer.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke landed the final blow in their game, tackling Ken to the ground, but they didn’t stop, ground and sky flipping over and over, the sun blaring in his face and the smell of fresh cut grass smushed into his nose.<br/>
Finally their momentum slowed and Daisuke landed on top, utterly distracted by Ken’s face, his eyes closed to block out the rays lighting him up, and that smile. The one only Daisuke saw, cheeks crinkled at the corners.<br/>
Daisuke found the edge of Ken’s lips, and Ken swiveled his head to pull him into a full open-mouthed kiss.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke was the sun, big and loud and <em>bright</em>, so overwhelming he knocked Ken off his feet through his mere existence. Daisuke glowed, Ken wanted to stand beside even as it swallowed him.<br/>
Ken was a faraway star. Maybe one time, long ago, something precious and beautiful had burned inside, but that was millions of years ago, only seen now after years of drifting aimlessly through a dark void. Some days, Ken was sure the source of warmth inside of him had died long ago, and he was just a ticking time bomb before everyone realized he’d already gone out.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken almost tripped on the vase of flowers outside his apartment door that morning. There was no card, no indication of who they were from. Ken was used to getting presents from secret admirers, but this one was different.<br/>
There weren’t the basic flowers, just roses for love and filler for sparkle.<br/>
They meant something. You didn’t mix Edelweiss with Hibiscus without a reason. You didn’t surround them with Camellia if it was just someone he didn’t know.<br/>
“So... anything happen this morning?” Daisuke asked as soon as Ken had sat down at their usual meetup, and he blushed.<br/>
Oh.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke leant over the small table. Ken busied himself with taking out his math text and notebook, eyes darting between the small space they had to work with and all the materials, carefully spreading out everything.<br/>
Daisuke watched as Ken’s long, slender fingers whipped through the pages, landing on the ones containing his homework assignment, looked into open, caring eyes.<br/>
“So let’s try the first problem together?”<br/>
Daisuke kept on staring into those deep blues.<br/>
“... Are you okay, Daisuke?”<br/>
He nodded mechanically. “I’m fine.”<br/>
Ken raised a single perfectly sculpted eyebrow and pointed at Daisuke’s homework. “Let’s get started then.”</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke led a sleep addled Ken to his bedroom.<br/>
“No way you’re sleeping on my couch, you can take my bed.”<br/>
“I can’t steal <em>your</em> bed from you, Daisuke.” Ken struggled valiantly to keep his eyes open as Daisuke pulled the covers up, shooing Ken under them.<br/>
He didn’t expect Ken’s strong arms to wrap around his middle and pull him in, catching himself just in time not to squish Ken’s nose with his pecs.<br/>
“Mmm, this is perfect.” Ken nuzzled Daisuke’s chest. “I can hear it.”<br/>
Daisuke blushed deeply, settling more comfortably next to Ken as he passed out.</p>
<hr/><p>“Sorry I’m late.” Ken unwound his scarf as the heat of the coffee shop suffused him, sitting across from Hikari.<br/>
“It’s no problem, Ken-kun. I really struggled with the chapter this week.” Hikari sipped from her too big latte, the wide brim of the cup looking absurd held in her tiny hands.<br/>
“What was the problem?”<br/>
Hikari looked at him as she took another sip, did a double take and almost spat some coffee out.<br/>
“What happened to your neck?” She whispered, eyes wide and scandalized.<br/>
“My... neck?” Ken touched a tender spot, where Daisuke had <em>bit</em> last night.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken tried to pay attention, he had to. He couldn’t just coast anymore, had to work hard, study, could <em>not</em> let his mind wander off in the middle of class.<br/>
There were words on the board. He was supposed to be writing an english essay. Instead, the page was covered in aimless scribbles, seemingly shapeless blobs that Ken realized too late made a repeating pattern of diamonds and lines.<br/>
His hand trembled. This symbol... he’d seen it before somewhere. He couldn’t recall, trapped in the blur.<br/>
It made him feel safe, even in this room surrounded by enemies.<br/>
It was warm.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken flew over Daisuke from his sliding tackle, twisting to kick the ball the last few feet into the net, scoring the final goal in their 1v1. Daisuke ached from the burn of the grass, watching Ken’s slender form as he retrieved the ball. Everything about him oozed grace and elegance, his hair even more beautiful slightly mussed up from its usual perfect comb.<br/>
“I’ve finally figured out your signature trick.” Ken glided over to him, stood towering above where Daisuke sat. He bent his knees and stooped to Daisuke’s level, piercing him with deep blue eyes.<br/>
“Chase me more.”</p>
<hr/><p>Ken ladled the simple soup, a canned recipe even he couldn’t mess up, in one of Daisuke’s bowls. The one on top of the stack had a cute repeating pattern of Keroppi dancing around the edge. Ken smiled as he picked up the tray and let himself into Daisuke’s bedroom.<br/>
“How are you feeling?”<br/>
“Uuuuuugh, don’t make me answer that.” The amorphous pile of blankets subtly shifted until Daisuke’s face popped out of the bottom.<br/>
“I heated up some soup.”<br/>
Even flushed and splotchy, Daisuke’s face lighting up with a grin and crinkles around his eyes sent Ken’s heart stuttering.</p>
<hr/><p>The ghost of Daisuke’s hand was on his neck. Every time they hung out, his arm inevitably wound up his back and held him there. Ken leant into the touch, maybe it could wipe out what was there. Daisuke’s palm was warm, his blood pumping in time with Ken. His fingers were calloused.<br/>
It hurt less, when Daisuke held the nape of his neck. It hurt less when Daisuke pulled him close. The dull ache the furthest thing from his mind.<br/>
Daisuke led him out of the darkness, anchoring him with his cupped hand, thawed him out, made him whole.</p>
<hr/><p>The water lapped at his back, waves carrying him up and down. He was floating, staring up at a lifeless, grey sky. His uniform was getting soaked and he couldn’t even lift his arms. A deep bone drenching tiredness kept them glued to the surface, or maybe it was the fear, the absolute certainty that if he broken the surface tension the whole grey crushing sea would swallow him.<br/>
A pinprick of color poked through the firmament, light shining on his face.<br/>
“I can’t just want you back, when you fall in there. You have to want to leave too.”</p>
<hr/><p>Ken was <em>so late</em>, he was going to get yelled at by his professor, everyone would stare at him, judge him when he finally slunk into the lecture hall. He grabbed a hoodie from the floor and sprinted to his school.<br/>
His run was much smoother than expected. He managed to make it to the station right as the train pulled in, breathing a sigh of relief. When he slid into his seat, he had calmed considerably, burying his nose into the collar of the jacket. Cinnamon assaulted his senses, wiry dark red locks danced behind his eyelids. Ken glowed.</p>
<hr/><p>“You seen this shit?” Daisuke slapped a magazine onto the coffee table in front of Ken, who gave it one cursory look before going back to his textbook.<br/>
“No. I don’t look at gossip mags for a reason.”<br/>
Ken didn’t want to think about how they’d even gotten a hold of him so up close.<br/>
“What are we gonna do about it?”<br/>
“Nothing.”<br/>
“But —“<br/>
“Thank you for worrying about me, Daisuke. But I’d really rather just ignore it.”<br/>
A vein on Daisuke’s temple twitched, and he flopped down next to Ken, folding arms around him.<br/>
“I want to protect you.”</p>
<hr/><p>Ken should have realized something was wrong when he heard the distorted cry for help in the cave, alerted Daisuke.<br/>
Maybe he wouldn’t be shoved into the jagged rocks, Demon’s claws fondling his neck.<br/>
“You really have become quite stupid, haven’t you? Don’t you want to be intelligent again?” Sharp claw ends threatened to spill Ken’s blood. “I can make it happen.”<br/>
“No! Stop.”<br/>
“Cute. You think you have a choice.”<br/>
Demon dug into the nape of his neck -<br/>
“Ken!” Sunlight shone from the mouth of the cave, dissolving the creature from his nightmares.<br/>
Daisuke hauled him to his feet.</p>
<hr/><p>The sake sloshed back and forth in Ken’s cup, long gone cold. He sipped at it anyway, savoring the thickness of it.<br/>
Daisuke sipped his third beer of the six pack he’d ostensibly bought for Ken’s 20th birthday.<br/>
“So was it worth the wait?” Daisuke jabbed at his side, eyes glassy.<br/>
His lips curved into a grin.<br/>
Daisuke’s lips were dry, as if the alcohol had stolen their moisture.<br/>
He slipped away from Ken and the kiss.<br/>
“Hey, let’s not do that when you’re... like this. Time to sleep.”<br/>
Ken wouldn’t have the courage to do it in the morning.</p>
<hr/><p>It wrapped around his ankle, pulled him down. He managed a single breath, the light disappearing from the edges of his vision. He tried, arms flailing in the water, kept going down down down until he couldn’t hold it anymore, taking in a horrifying gulp of the dark water.<br/>
it permeated his insides, crushed his lungs. Dragged further in, he drowned.<br/>
The blare of his alarm jolted him out of the nightmare, and Ken rolled over, pulled Daisuke’s sleep addled body on top. He let Daisuke’s sunny body infuse him, replace the cold and dark.<br/>
He let himself be crushed.</p>
<hr/><p>The unnatural stone was cold under Ken’s palm. As he looked up, the vertigo took over, the height of the dark tower made bile rise up his throat.<br/>
Ken turned away from the disgusting thing. He couldn’t get away from the copy in his heart.<br/>
“Nice job, Ichijouji!” Daisuke jogged beside him as Stingmon destroyed the the haphazardly placed obelisk.<br/>
“Mmm.” Ken grasped his arms, giving himself a comforting squeeze.<br/>
“Let’s go out together and celebrate.”<br/>
“Ah, sorry...”<br/>
He didn’t deserve to. There were still so many to destroy, a line cut across the Digital World and cutting it twain.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke spotted the scarves from across the shopping center, making a beeline into the tiny store. He ran his fingers over the soft material, reminding him of something. The soft cream color was nearly the same shade as the one Ken never wore anymore.<br/>
When Ken opened the hastily stuffed bag, he pulled the scarf out with trembling hands.<br/>
“You got this for me?”<br/>
“Yeah! I thought maybe you’d lost your old one.”<br/>
“Yes... I...” Ken buried his face in the folded fabric. “I lost it. Thank you.”<br/>
Daisuke pulled Ken into a side hug as he dried his tears.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke took a deep breath in, lifting his hands up as his lungs filled in, grounded himself, back straightening.<br/>
The mint leaves infused the cream, dark chocolate whipped together.<br/>
Daisuke prayed to whatever spirits were out there for the tempering to hold.<br/>
He clutched the tiny cardboard heart he’d made, the edges uneven with his poor cuts, trying not to crush it into his chest as he waited in front of Ken’s High School.<br/>
When he spotted Ken, waving at him from the genkan, he nearly dropped it.<br/>
“Hello, Daisuke! Happy Valentine’s Day.”<br/>
Daisuke shoved the box into Ken’s hands.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. July</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some Notes:<br/>1) There’s a Tentacle Prompt one in here - nothing explicit happens but the threat is there<br/>2) A couple of these are in the Soul Crest Gem AU because I’m obsessed with it<br/>3) I upped the rating but not quite to E even though they DEFFO have sex in one of these bc it’s Weird Gem Soul Sex and not, uh, explicit?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Insects</em><br/>
Empty. His life was empty. Wake up, go to school<br/>
<em>Insects</em><br/>
Extracurriculars, more than Osamu even ever did, boring and lifeless, nobody talked to him<br/>
<em>Insects</em><br/>
Home, finally, he could go to the only place he felt alive. He could let go, rage, cry, he was still so lonely<br/>
<em>Insects</em><br/>
Was there really no one, who could be his equal, he could play with, be his frie-<br/>
<em>Insects</em><br/>
No. He was alone, the perfect beautiful genius prodigy, no one could touch him<br/>
<em>Especially not that Insect</em><br/>
He had everything, he was perfect, why did he let that boy -<br/>
<em>Insects</em></p>
<hr/><p>Ken tossed and turned under his thin sheets. Daisuke was just below him, bundled into the guest futon.<br/>
The room disappeared at the edges. In the pitch dark, he descended the rungs until he hit the carpet.<br/>
“Ken? You’re still awake?”<br/>
Ken heard as Daisuke rolled up, hand grabbing Ken’s.<br/>
“... I didn’t think you would be.”<br/>
“You’re shaking.”<br/>
Ken nodded before realizing Daisuke definitely couldn’t see that. “I was going to ...”<br/>
Turn on a hall light. The computer. something to cut through the dark.<br/>
“Wanna lie down here with me?”<br/>
Ken crawled onto the futon, still shaking, holding Daisuke’s hand.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken shot awake, the cold metal suffusing into his cheek. Shadows played along too close curves pressing around him.<br/>
Ken’s hands hit the glass in front of him, inches from his face, there wasn't enough air. He pounded at the window with his fists, it didn’t budge.<br/>
Where was Daisuke? Memories came flooding, Daisuke falling back, eyes closed, he had to be okay.<br/>
Gas pumped into his prison, white clouds emanating from vents behind him, and he coughed and spluttered as everything blurred.<br/>
“Daisuke! Imperialdramon! Where are you?” He reached out with his heart, felt only eerie silence and static.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke tightened his grip on Ken’s shoulders, staring at the far corner from his place on Ken’s loft bed. Ken sighed in his sleep, and Daisuke smoothed the wrinkles on his face with his thumb.<br/>
He wished he could join Ken, but he could not sleep. His mind was too full of what ifs and nightmare scenarios of what could have gone wrong today.<br/>
What had happened before he caught up.<br/>
Ken’s hair pillowed around his face. His eyelids looked peaceful, finally completely relaxed. Daisuke touched his temple. Maybe one day he would see Ken like this in the light of day.</p>
<hr/><p>The closet loomed in front of Ken, completely unassuming from the outside. Just a simple sliding door, burying down years of stacked boxes and items, clothes and books and toys.<br/>
Daisuke slipped his hand into Ken’s, squeezing tight.<br/>
“We don’t have to go through it all today.”<br/>
“Can we just ... do one box?” Ken took down the top box, loose papers sticking out. He caught sight of Osamu’s name written in clear, crisp kanji and sucked in a tight breath.<br/>
Daisuke helped him set the box down, sat beside him as they organized. Held his hand and dried his tears.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke popped into the shower beside the bathroom in Ken’s apartment. A neat line of unlabeled bottles stood along the shelf as he turned the hot water all the way up.<br/>
Popping open the first and sniffing at it filled Daisuke with a rose fragrance.<br/>
He moved on to the next in line. Aloe? That wasn’t right.<br/>
Finally, he opened the next bottle to a big hit of lavender. He held it under his nose, breathing deep, he could almost imagine being buried in Ken’s hair, cuddling him close.<br/>
Daisuke squirted some of the shampoo into his hand and scrubbed.</p>
<hr/><p>“Picked the movie we’re watching yet?” Daisuke returned to his room, arms laden with bags, somehow managing to close the door behind him and close them off from the rest of the apartment.<br/>
“Whatever you want is fine.”<br/>
Daisuke plopped down next to Ken, switching out the bags of chips and cookies for three DVDs. “Pick a movie.”<br/>
“You can pick -“<br/>
“Ken. I picked the snacks, you pick the movie.”<br/>
Ken hugged his knees, leaning further back into Daisuke’s bed. “You know them better.”<br/>
“But I want <em>your</em> opinion.”<br/>
Ken bit his lip and selected a clearly random box. Progress.</p>
<hr/><p>The others just didn’t get it. They hadn’t felt what Daisuke had, in the bowels of Ken’s base. They didn’t understand.<br/>
Daisuke saw the facade fall away, knew Ken’s heart now. He wasn’t backing away. Maybe going to Tamachi by himself wasn’t the best idea, but no one was coming with him, and <em>this</em> had to happen.<br/>
He never expected one of the people he had to convince Ken deserved forgiveness would be Ken. Shouldn’t it be enough that Daisuke had forgiven him?<br/>
He wanted his feelings to reach Ken. He wanted to see the kind, gentle Ken every day.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke lifted the tray of cartons to his shoulders, moving about the classroom and setting them down with practiced ease.<br/>
Only two more classes. Almost time to run to the station and go see Ken.<br/>
What was Ken eating today? Tamachi was across the river, plus Ken went to that fancy private school. They probably got something way better than kitsune udon and a slice of apple.<br/>
Daisuke bit into the apple slice, savoring the crunch. He stabbed the straw into the milk carton and sucked it all up. Ken would probably scrunch his nose in mock disgust at him.</p>
<hr/><p>The Digimon’s appendage wrapped around Ken’s legs, tying them together so roughly his thighs hurt.<br/>
“Ken!” Daisuke screamed from below as he was lifted into the air, he reached his arms out, just barely missing Daisuke’s outstretched hands.<br/>
A second string lashed out and wrapped up Daisuke as well, catching his hands as he clawed at the one around his midriff.<br/>
The dizziness was making everything swim in front of Ken’s eyes, blood rushing to his head. The second his shirt was untucked by an exploring sharp tip undoing his top button it fell with gravity, revealing his whole chest.</p>
<hr/><p>The lanterns strung up above their heads glowed as Daisuke dragged Ken through the stalls. He wheeled him in front of a goldfish catching game.<br/>
Ken’s eyebrows lifted as he stared at a particularly bright, golden one. He carefully lifted the flitting little creature into his net, placing it in a small baggie.<br/>
He spotted as Ken licked his lips, following his line of sight to the row of popsicles beside.<br/>
“One please!” Daisuke placed the hundred yen into the cashier’s hand with one hand as he picked up the popsicle and shoved it in Ken’s face with the other.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken stopped at the precipice of the school grounds, not quite ready to walk into the wrought iron gates yet. He had struggled again last night, the homework taking hours more than it ever had before, his mother trying to help, let him know he didn’t <em>have</em> to study so hard anymore.<br/>
He couldn’t just let it go. Accepting that he was - unremarkable was so much harder than accepting he was a disgusting, terrible person.<br/>
Instead of walking into the school doors, Ken pulled out his D-terminal and messaged Daisuke.<br/>
<em>Want to play hooky?</em><br/>
<em>???</em> <em>Ye come to my house!</em></p>
<hr/><p>Ken was aware of how dangerous sliding down the what ifs was. He knew once it started it wouldn’t stop, and he would end up in a deep pit of what if he’d never been born at all. Sometimes it would disgust him, sometimes he would wish it was real.<br/>
Not even his what ifs about the future stood a chance. What if Daisuke kissed him? What if he kissed back? What if it meant something when Daisuke held his shoulders, shielding him from debris and harm? What if Daisuke landed on top of him when they weren’t in mortal peril?</p>
<hr/><p>Ken clutched Daisuke’s shoulders as the enemy battered them, trying to cover him and draw strength as Daisuke dug in to the ground, refusing to give an inch.<br/>
Daisuke covered his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze, a smile dancing on his face.<br/>
He saw the opening, which meant Imperialdramon did as well, struck at the heart of the Digimon wrecking the shopping center.<br/>
Ken pulled Daisuke out of the way of its last death throes, into an alcove where they were squished chest to chest, and before he knew it there were lips and teeth and tongue on him.</p>
<hr/><p>Most people didn’t pay attention to Motomiya Daisuke. They saw a brash, loud young man and wrote him off as such.<br/>
Most people were idiots. Ken grimaced at the wording his brain spit out, too close to a time long ago where he was convinced he was superior.<br/>
He was not. He was stupider than most even, he never would have seen Daisuke if he hadn’t barged into Ken’s life on his own.<br/>
So Ken paid attention, and listened, because Daisuke <em>was</em> a better person, in every way, and Ken wanted to see every second. Wanted to memorize his smiles.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken awoke with a start, shivering with cold sweat, and frantically reached out through the darkness to the other person in his bed.<br/>
Daisuke warmed up Ken’s icicle fingers as he burrowed into the fabric of his top, undoing the middle buttons like Daisuke did all the time.<br/>
The crest at the center of Daisuke’s being pulsed low, just enough light to soothe Ken as he stroked it, picking up Daisuke’s fractured dissipating dream.<br/>
“Go back to sleep.” Daisuke caught Ken’s hand and entwined their fingers. “I’m here.”<br/>
Ken drifted off, hypnotized by Daisuke’s light as it ebbed and flowed.</p>
<hr/><p>“What even is this thing?” Daisuke picked at Ken’s choker with the hand he had casually thrown around his shoulders.<br/>
“I’ve worn chokers before.”<br/>
“Yeah but it’s like, frilly and stuff. Doesn’t even cover anything.”<br/>
Ken felt the blood rush to his face. “We’re alone today.”<br/>
“Does that make a -“ Daisuke’s pawing at the side of Ken’s neck stilled. “Ken. Do you want me to ...?”<br/>
Ken nodded, mouth gone dry. Daisuke’s thumb traveled to the back of his neck, brushing against the crest sitting just below his choker. Ken gasped as Daisuke slipped into one of the intricate holes, tension palpable.</p>
<hr/><p>The row of stones loomed in front of Ken, the flowers wilting in his arms. Daisuke’s warmth held his hand as he advanced.<br/>
The Ichijouji shrine was modest, and Ken placed the star anise in its usual spot.<br/>
“Osamu-nii-san ... I want you to meet Daisuke.” Ken felt strange talking to the stone with someone else next to him. “We’re ... together.”<br/>
“Should I say something?” Daisuke bent forward to look in Ken’s downturned face.<br/>
“You don’t have to.”<br/>
“Well, I just want Osamu to know, that I love Ken with all my heart and I’ll take care of him.”</p>
<hr/><p>Ken hovered outside the book store, waiting for Daisuke to check out. The bag wrapped around his wrist weighed him down. He didn’t really need it, he shouldn’t be wasting money like this.<br/>
Daisuke jumped on his back and Ken shrieked, arms flying up to hold the skin wrapped around him.<br/>
“Wanna read this one with me?” Daisuke waved the horror manga he’d picked up in Ken’s face.<br/>
He did not. “Sure. Your place or mine?”<br/>
“Your place is closer. What’s mom making for dinner?”<br/>
When had Ken’s mother become ‘mom’? How had Daisuke wormed his way so far in?</p>
<hr/><p>Ken had begun their journey sitting prim and proper in the window seat, nose stuffed into some fantasy novel Daisuke had never heard of. His eyes glued to the page, saccading across while Daisuke stared.<br/>
He didn’t notice as his posture decayed, as each minuscule change in Ken’s position brought him closer and closer to a hunched over ball, until Ken was completely tucked into the corner, his hair smashed into the window and looking delightfully disheveled.<br/>
Daisuke let the smell of the bento he’d made waft over Ken’s determined face, smiling as he became the object of Ken’s focus.</p>
<hr/><p>The private bath was calling Ken’s name, he could practically feel it soothing his sore muscles already.<br/>
Daisuke pet his hair, stroked his shoulders as he pushed Ken’s yukata off.<br/>
The sweet lavender of the soap permeated the hot air as Daisuke rubbed up and down his spine, scrunched his hair, lathered his thighs.<br/>
When Ken was thoroughly cleaned, he sank into the heat of the cypress tub and tugged Daisuke on top.<br/>
“This is nice.”<br/>
Daisuke raised an eyebrow.<br/>
“Must have been expensive.”<br/>
“I can’t do this out there.” Daisuke covered Ken’s mouth, warm lips taking his breath away.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke had been staring at him for the past ten minutes.<br/>
Normally, this would make Ken blush and stammer, pleasure pooling in his gut at the attention. But he was supposed to be helping Daisuke study for his math test, not flirting.<br/>
“This looks like a good problem, let’s read it together?”<br/>
Daisuke blinked, coming back to himself. “Huh? What?”<br/>
“What <em>is</em> the problem, Daisuke?”<br/>
Daisuke reached out and traced the shell of Ken’s ear, where he had tucked his hair out of the way. He scooted his chair close, following the same path with his tongue.<br/>
“It’s break time.”</p>
<hr/><p>The remote they’d been fighting over lay forgotten after skittering two feet away on the hardwood floor. Daisuke had both Ken’s wrists pinned with one hand, hold so light Ken could break it any second.<br/>
Daisuke’s other hand cupped his cheek, brushed against his eyebrows, as liquid chocolate stared him down, kept him pinned with just a look.<br/>
He should stop it, before he hurt Daisuke, before he tasted the poison in his mouth, but Daisuke tilted his chin and Ken followed, letting Daisuke drink him in.<br/>
He tasted the remnants of the cookie Daisuke had stuffed in his mouth.</p>
<hr/><p>“You okay?” Daisuke brushed his fingers through the strands of hair on top of Ken’s head as he narrowed his eyes and held his temple with a grimace.<br/>
“I’m fine, this menu is. Small.”<br/>
He struggled for a long time, sighing and squinting before finally giving up and relaxing into Daisuke’s waiting arm.<br/>
But he didn’t tilt his head and lean into Daisuke like usual, rummaging through his bag, pulling out an oblong box and popping it open.<br/>
the glasses framed his eyes perfectly, making them appear even bigger, a veritable pool of deep blue for Daisuke to swim through.</p>
<hr/><p>“It’s my birthday.” Ken giggled, one arm wrapped around Daisuke’s middle as he hauled him up the stairs to his apartment.<br/>
“I know.” Daisuke wished he had as much alcohol running through him as Ken had right now, but only felt the light buzz of his single beer. Ken had been <em>smashed</em> by the time he’d finished his first drink.<br/>
“It’s my birthdaaaaay.” Ken drooled on Daisuke’s shoulder, letting Daisuke take his full weight as he unlocked Ken’s door.<br/>
Daisuke managed to pull Ken into his bedroom, pulled down and pinned by Ken’s fucked up body.<br/>
“Give me a present?”</p>
<hr/><p>A few petals from the Sakura above them fell onto Ken’s hair, Daisuke brushing them away softly, catching some of the loose strands and tucking them back in even as the wind continued to tousle them beautifully.<br/>
Ken scooted closer to him on the blanket he’d brought, curled his fingers over Daisuke’s in between them, threaded together. He turned his face up, a beatific smile dancing on his lips as he watched the blossoms blow around.<br/>
They slid down together to their backs, Daisuke resting his head on the crook of Ken’s shoulder, their hands still tangled together above them.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken lay awake, the comforting glow of his computer dimmed from disuse, tossing and turning back and forth. Sleep refused to return, his sheets long since kicked off and nearly falling from his lofted bed.<br/>
His phone started ringing with a familiar tune, and Ken answered it immediately.<br/>
“What’s wrong?” Just hearing Daisuke’s voice calmed Ken down.<br/>
He didn’t want the easy answer. He wanted <em>why</em>.<br/>
“... Exams, I think. I don’t know exactly.” He just knew the feel of sand between his toes, something dark crawling up his submerged legs.<br/>
“You’re gonna do amazing. I know it.”<br/>
Daisuke always <em>knew</em>.</p>
<hr/><p>“Want to see the special exhibit?”<br/>
“Heck yeah!” Daisuke brushed the back of his hand against Ken’s before jogging towards the entrance to the museum.<br/>
Ken followed behind at a more sedate pace, jolted every few minutes by Daisuke’s incessant knuckle knocking.<br/>
“Ooh, this one is really pretty.” Daisuke slammed his face into the glass. “Amethysts are the best.”<br/>
Daisuke continued on, babbling in a way that made Ken smile, get all giddy inside.<br/>
“I just really like geodes, they’re kinda nothing on the outside, but once you see their heart - <em>wow</em>.”<br/>
Daisuke’s fingers finally found their mark, squeezing Ken.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken relaxed into the pleasant tingling feeling all around his crest as laid on Daisuke’s bare chest, his affection pulsing through Ken, radiating out from between his shoulder blades.<br/>
Daisuke pulled one of Ken’s hands to his mouth and popped the index finger into his mouth, he knew exactly how much Daisuke liked doing it, rode the waves of his heartbeat as it sped up.<br/>
He slid down just a little, his crest sliding along Daisuke’s clavicle, slotting their souls together perfectly, until all the barriers felt apart, skin dissolving until Ken and Daisuke were no more, just One. Forever.</p>
<hr/><p>“Could you hand me my math textbook?” Ken shut the notebook covered in science notes on his lap, placing it to the side, away from where his and Daisuke’s legs pressed together.<br/>
“Sure!” Daisuke rifled through the backpack placed neatly next to his, pulling out the math book along with a small bag attached to the spine.<br/>
The bag rustled, pulling out a rectangle of wooden beads.<br/>
“What’s this? How do you play it?”<br/>
“... the abacus?”<br/>
“Yeah!”<br/>
Ken stared at Daisuke, eyes blown wide as he broke into giggles, growing and growing into full-blown laughter that had Daisuke beaming.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. August</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>69 (hehehehehe) is in this set and a couple other They Are Definitely Sexy Ones</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The beeping of the heart monitor kept Daisuke company as he curled into the visitor’s chair beside Ken’s prone form. He watched as Ken’s too skinny chest rose and fell with each forced breath from the machines hooked into him, the wires and needles uncomfortable reminders of what they’d escaped.<br/>He hovered his hands over Ken’s face, paler than normal, his stomach curling. It was his fault Ken was like this. If he’d been stronger, a better leader, Ken wouldn’t be like this, hurt and used and battered by the darkness again.<br/>He hung his head and tried to sleep.</p><hr/><p>He just needed a minute, a little rest before continuing to look through the vast expanse of sand behind him and the endless shore in front, water he dare not touch lapping at the edge of his Desert.<br/>The pieces in his hands were so cold they burnt, jagged edges all so shattered he didn’t know how he’d ever put them back together. There were so many more out there to find, trapped in the sand.<br/>“I can help you.” <em>He</em> sat beside him on the shore, just like always he shook his head.<br/>“I have to do this myself.”</p><hr/><p>“Thanks for coming.” Takeru ushered the two of them into his main living space where he’d set out a table and chairs.<br/>“It’s no problem.” Ken sat between Daisuke and where Takeru’s laptop was perched, to provide a buffer between them. <br/>“What do you want?”<br/>Takeru sighed as he pulled his own chair out and collapsed into it. “My publisher is pressuring me about the ending again.”<br/>“Do you need some help?”<br/>“No, no, I just - they want me to cut - your thing. How do you feel about that?”<br/>“Could you cut us entirely?”<br/>Ken elbowed Daisuke in the side.</p><hr/><p>“I’m starving!” Daisuke announced as he grabbed Ken’s hand, leading him away from the rest of the group as they said their goodbyes. “Where do you wanna eat?”<br/>Ken was trapped, staring at his wrist and the hand wrapped around it, leading him into the closest shopping mall food court.<br/>Daisuke ordered and paid for the food, stacking it high and darting eyes around before placing chicomon on the table. Ken let leafmon down, the two digimon snuggling and digging in the the same time.<br/>“Woah!” Daisuke shouted when leafmon spat pink out of their mouth to take bigger bites.</p><hr/><p>The field stretched out from his vantage point high in the bleachers. It didn’t matter how far away, Ken held the memory of Daisuke’s cheeky smile as he dashed across the field, perfectly conjured his bright laugh drowned out by the crowd around him.<br/>When Daisuke scored the winning goal, Ken followed the crowd in a massive wave and shout, knew exactly how exhilarated and happy and secretly relieved he was.<br/>When Daisuke’s arms finally wrapped around him, riding the high and having to express it somehow, Ken returned it tentatively. He stared at Daisuke’s beaming mouth and swallowed hard.</p><hr/><p>“Look at how cute these are!” Daisuke pointed at the lower gatcha machines, emblazoned with pictures of different dog figurines.<br/>They were very Daisuke, bubbly and sweet with a smile Ken could drown in. He ducked his head and stared at a machine containing coin holders shaped like rice cookers.<br/>“Are you going to get one?”<br/>“Nah.” Daisuke straightened his knees and cracked his back, complete with flailing arms that Ken watched from the corner of his eye. “I just get disappointed if its not the one I really wanted.”<br/>“You always get what you want.”<br/>Daisuke smirked. “Not always.”</p><hr/><p>The fairy lights twinkled, strung between the pretty trash plastering every inch of the walls. Ken poured some orange liqueur over a spoonful of his plain milk ice cream, and shoved it in his mouth so he didn’t have to try talking.<br/>Daisuke, for his part, wasn’t holding up the bulk of conversation like he usually did. He was instead staring quite intently at the numerous glasses of alcohol, pretending he was picking the next one.<br/>This was stupid. Ken covered Daisuke’s hand.<br/>“This is a great date and I’m having a good time.” Ken pecked Daisuke on the cheek.</p><hr/><p>Ken heaved into the toilet, nothing came up anymore. Daisuke hovered over him, his steady hands rubbing up and down his spine.<br/>“Do you think you can lie down?”<br/>“I can’t.” Ken managed to choke out. “I have to get back to work.”<br/>“Are you <em>crazy</em>? You need to take a <em>break</em>, lie down and - “<br/>“I have to get back to studying. I’ve already lost too much time today.”<br/>“And you’re gonna lose more, because <em>you need a break</em>.”<br/>Daisuke wrestled an exhausted Ken into his bed, forced him to lie down by sitting on him and Ken stopped struggling.</p><hr/><p>Daisuke sank further into the couch, legs wrapping around Ken’s shoulders, settled between Daisuke’s spread legs, nosing into his dark curls and breathing in deeply, and Daisuke suppressed his hips.<br/>“Don’t hold back.” Ken’s voice reverberated, right to the base of his spine, as he kissed around his base.<br/>“You sure?”<br/>“I want to taste you. Feel you.” Ken punctuated his words with kisses up to Daisuke’s head, giving it a languorous suck. “All the way down my throat.”<br/>Ken had asked, so Daisuke obliged, bucking his hips up into Ken’s mouth, watching the way his face contorted in pleasure.</p><hr/><p>The sunset bloomed behind Ken’s head as he stared out into space, collapsed onto the bench in a quiet part of the park. Daisuke reached out and tucked a few strands behind his ear, tracing the outer shell with the pads of his fingers.<br/>Ken turned his way, rays of light all around him, the ends of hair coming loose from where Daisuke had placed them and fluttering in the wind.<br/>“Daisuke?”<br/>His hand slid to Ken’s shoulder, thumbing just under the collar of his shirt, and Ken stiffened before smiling and leaning closer, Daisuke’s head hitting his other shoulder.</p><hr/><p>Ken carefully selected his spot on their blanket, nearly a meter away from Daisuke and his sprawled, tanned legs, his face so open Ken could get lost in it.<br/>That wouldn’t do. Not with the flowers on full display and the rest of their friends also around.<br/>Daisuke, guileless as ever, glommed onto Ken’s side, arms encircling like they weren’t in public.<br/>“Where’d you go?”<br/>“Hikari-san and I got sucked into a magic show.”<br/>Daisuke whooped, his eyes shining. “Is it still going? Where?”<br/>“Just down that path.” Ken gulped as he grabbed Daisuke’s hand. “I can show you.”</p><hr/><p>Ken’s room looked about how Daisuke thought it would. Despite the pile of accumulating clothes in the corner and bag of overflowing trash taken out of the can but not outside, it was still ten times as clean as his own room on a good day.<br/>“Hey.”<br/>Ken’s head was near the top of his ladder, and Daisuke stared at the silky hair on the back of his scalp, swerving to grab a shoulder instead of massage under those inky beautiful locks. Ken’s eyes were sunken, ringed by red, but at least they weren’t actively wet.<br/>“Time to get up.”</p><hr/><p>Daisuke threw himself into the air, punching the air with an uppercut just like the one Imperialdramon landed.<br/>“Yeah! One more!”<br/>Ken should pay attention to where the displaced Digimon was, but Daisuke stole the show. He sparkled in the sunlight, captured in his sweat, determined smile on his face.<br/>Ken struggled to keep up, he wanted to so badly, to be worthy of the energy and pure feeling erupting out of Daisuke at all moments. He wanted to be swallowed up by Daisuke’s roaring soul.<br/>Their hands found each other and Ken nodded, giving Daisuke what strength he could.</p><hr/><p>The buzzer of Daisuke’s front door rang for the second time as he ran around his kitchen. Two of the pots on the stove bubbled over, threatening to spill all over and leave a huge mess to clean.<br/>“Just come in! It’s not locked!” He shouted as loud as he could, hoping Ken could hear him through the door as he turned off the heat, trying to rescue their dinner.<br/>A longer, thinner hand covered his own, calming him enough to get it together again. When everything was finally turned off and done, he leaned into Ken’s embrace.<br/>“Thank you.”</p><hr/><p>The way the trees in the digital world swayed was always just a little bit <em>different</em>. Ken would have something profound to say, about how they are turned into quantum whatever packets and made everything a little jittery, like watching an old anime that had like 2 frames per second.<br/>Daisuke tightened his bear hug around Ken’s unconscious body.<br/>“Come back soon. I miss you,” he said as the world frayed at the edges. He curled into Ken’s chest and listened to his deep, even breaths, a reminder that he was alive in there.<br/>That he <em>would</em> wake up. Eventually.</p><hr/><p>“You’re acting weird.” Daisuke flicked his fingers along Ken’s arms, making him flinch.<br/>“I am not.” He resolutely stared forward and continued to walk, pulling his arms tighter around himself.<br/>“C’mon, just tell me what’s wrong!”<br/>That would require knowing. Nothing was <em>wrong</em>, he was just irritable and could barely stand having Daisuke next to him. It was all Ken’s fault, for not being able to <em>deal</em> with being alive.<br/>“I wanna help -“<br/>“Then leave me alone!” Ken wanted to stuff the words back into his throat as soon as they had escaped. He froze, staring into wide, hurt eyes.</p><hr/><p>Daisuke hummed a jaunty tune. Ken was coming over today, would be spending the whole weekend. He sped up as the station drew nearer, watching for the next train car.<br/>That one. Ken’s fluttering heartbeat, sure and strong, blood rushing to his head. He bounced on the balls of his feet until he could see with his eyes.<br/>There he was, height tempered by the way he cringed in on himself. That wasn’t right. The person next to him leaned in, far too close. Daisuke saw red, greeting Ken and pretending he didn’t see them as he forced them away.</p><hr/><p>Water dripped into Daisuke’s eyes, and he flicked it away, searching Ken out in the onsen.<br/>He came up behind Ken, crouched in his little shower cubicle.<br/>“How’s it going?”<br/>“Will you ... put my hair up?”<br/>He wasn’t sure whether Ken’s red face was from the steam or question. He settled behind Ken and carded fingers through Ken’s damp locks, separating the length into three clumps. He threaded it together, enjoying the feel of Ken’s soft hairs, the way they slid between his fingers so easily, until he was finished with the short braid, tucking most of Ken’s hair up.</p><hr/><p>Daisuke twisted Ken’s arm behind his back, bent him into the mattress.<br/>“You deserve this.”<br/>He did. He deserved whatever Daisuke wanted as recompense. A knife grazed under his shirt, pressing into his belly as it ripped open, the fabric falling away easily.<br/>He whimpered and arched into Daisuke’s hand as it replaced the knife, rubbing along his chest.<br/>“I’m going to take what I want.”<br/>Ken helped Daisuke shimmy his pants down. Daisuke pressed down on top of him, smothered him, got him back for everything Ken had put him through -<br/>Ken woke up sticky and hot and sick.</p><hr/><p>“Come on!” Daisuke grasped Ken’s mittened hands, pulling him to unsteady feet as he tried to balance on the ice skates.<br/>“I don’t know about this, Daisuke ...” Ken’s carefully pushed forward to follow Daisuke’s smooth gliding backward strokes.<br/>“It’s fun! I’ll teach you.”<br/>“Alright. Show me first?”<br/>Watching Daisuke rocket around the ring from his death grip on the wall sent Ken’s heart pounding. He came to an elegant stop beside Ken, his palm resting at the small of his back and pulling him close. That made Ken feel hot even in the frozen wind as they slowly skated together.</p><hr/><p>The Digimon floating around in front of them seemed familiar. Ken couldn’t quite place them, didn’t dig in more.<br/>He knew where he would find them. Among the faceless he’d -<br/>He squeezed Daisuke’s hand, held together since Daisuke had grabbed it when they’d moved into the dark area of the Digital World, and Daisuke squeezed back.<br/>“Let’s try to go around. Bakemon are no good.”<br/>“You’ve run into them before?”<br/>Daisuke’s eyes darkened in a way Ken rarely saw. “Once or twice.”<br/>His questions, need to know what that meant, bubbled over in his mouth but he kept it firmly shut.</p><hr/><p>The walls were closing in. Ken huffed in and out short, shallow breaths full of particulates from the cave wall that made him cough hoarsely, flinched away from comforting hands trying to rub his back.<br/>“Sorry! It’s just me.”<br/>There was no one else it could have been. He and Daisuke had been the only ones in the small alcove when the entrance had collapsed.<br/>Ken berated himself for freaking out. For wasting oxygen with his stupid, frantic gulps of air.<br/>“I’m going to touch your knee,” Daisuke said just before he felt it, pulled Ken’s face into his chest.</p><hr/><p>“What are you going to wish for?”<br/>“You know I can’t tell you that.” Ken pushed Daisuke’s face away where he leaned too far forward.<br/>Ken found a dense spot with lots of wishes already placed, and hid his among them, making sure Daisuke wasn’t watching.<br/>Sure enough, Daisuke made a beeline for it when Ken was done, searching for Ken’s small, precise strokes of kanji.<br/>Ken realized he was holding his breath when Daisuke frowned and returned to his side.<br/>“You really aren’t gonna tell me?”<br/>Ken’s wish fluttered up to the sky. <em>I want him to love me.</em></p><hr/><p>“I’m tired!” Daisuke declared as he threw himself on his bed, his school bag left unceremoniously beside it.<br/>“Weren’t we going to study?”<br/>Daisuke stretched his back just enough to look Ken in the eye. “We can do that later. Now, let’s nap.”<br/>Ken tried to argue, but Daisuke was very persuasive when he wanted to be, poking and cajoling Ken into lying down next to him, wrapped up in his arms. Daisuke had managed to entangle his legs in Ken’s, as well. He lay there, still and straight and anxious as Daisuke drifted off, not getting a wink himself.</p><hr/><p>Ken’s hand rested on the bench between them, curled under the planks. His shoulders attached to his red ears.<br/>“Rested up yet?” Daisuke threaded his stout fingers over Ken’s, marveling at how he could swallow his palm up while not even reaching the second knuckle.<br/>“It’s really beautiful today.” Ken didn’t answer his question, just turned his hand over so their fingers threaded together. Daisuke began rubbing small circles in Ken’s skin with his thumb.<br/>“Yeah. Really pretty.”<br/>“We can keep walking.”<br/>Ken tightened his grip on Daisuke’s hand as they stood together and moved slowly through the swaying trees.</p><hr/><p>The car’s horn blared at Ken, but he could not move. He was frozen in the middle of the crosswalk, breath forced in and out until he wasn’t breathing at all anymore, being ushered away by Daisuke’s strong arms forcing him forward.<br/>Daisuke laid him down on a bench. He bent his head into Daisuke’s lap, felt as he carded fingers through his hair, tried to ground back into reality. Make it back to the present.<br/>Daisuke’s thigh radiated warmth into his cheek, the bench dug into his chest and the angle of his legs started to ache.<br/>“I’m okay now.”</p><hr/><p>“Why aren’t you on the Tamachi FC list for this year?” Daisuke asked as soon as he’d slid next to Ken on his long walk home.<br/>Ken grasped the strap hanging over his shoulder hard. “I missed the entire season last year.”<br/>“But you’re the captain!”<br/>Ken stumbled, only not face planting into the ground because Daisuke caught his arm. He remained very still while Daisuke pulled him back on his feet.<br/>“... I’m not good enough anymore.”<br/>That was a lie. Ken was still amazing, could knock the socks off Daisuke 1v1.<br/>“Did you even try out?”<br/>Ken didn’t respond.</p><hr/><p>Ken only had one of the cans of beer inside him, his head was already spinning pleasantly. Daisuke had had at least three, making his every movement sloppy and uncoordinated and it didn’t matter. Every attempted touch was setting Ken on fire and he climbed into Daisuke’s lap, tasting the alcohol on his lips as Daisuke stuck his tongue out, desperately trying to get in his mouth.<br/>His hands found Ken’s thighs, hiked him closer. Ken mouthed at Daisuke’s ear, taking the lobe between his teeth and biting down, Daisuke’s hands sliding up, up onto his tight jean clad ass.</p><hr/><p>Splashing water woke Ken where he lay on the ground. He must have passed out, from the heat or the work or both.<br/>“Need a break?” Daisuke hovered over him, holding a half-emptied bottle of water.<br/>Not with so much damage to still be undone. His legs shook as Daisuke helped him stand, and he picked up the material he was helping move.<br/>Daisuke smacked it out of his hands. “Need a break?” He said again, like it was still a question, not an order.<br/>“Fine.” He managed to grind out, grabbing the water bottle and chugging it angrily.</p><hr/><p>“Take it off off off!” Ken writhed on their bed, lost somewhere deep in the caverns of his mind. As soon as Daisuke had gotten the ties off Ken booked it to the shower room, locked himself in and set the water running.<br/>Daisuke followed, shock keeping him a few steps behind. He knocked on the glass door separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom area. “Want to talk about it?”<br/>“No.”<br/>“Can I at least come in there and you tell me how to comfort you?”<br/>After an eternity, Ken cracked the door open, steam escaping out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. September</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Highlights:<br/>Stardust AU is Real<br/>They Totally 100% Have Sex in #100<br/>Content Warning for Suicidal Ideation<br/>This batch is really angsty in general actually? Also very kissy</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please ignore that I’m posting the Septemberish batch halfway through October.....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I really can’t go.” Ken insisted for the third time as he picked at the dinner Daisuke had attempted for them tonight.<br/>“Why nooooot?” Daisuke punctuated his whining with a large pout, his bottom lip jutting out way too much.<br/>“I have a ... family obligation.”<br/>“Can I come?”<br/>The image of Daisuke, wearing a black suit, walking through a graveyard with him and his parents, was equal parts troubling and soothing. Having Daisuke there, holding his hand, sounded. Nice.<br/>“But then you’ll miss your vacation.”<br/>Daisuke shrugged. “I can always go to the beach. Can’t always hang out with you.”</p><hr/><p>Ken scratched with blunt nails against the too big hand grabbing at his scarf and wrapping around his neck, he tried in vain to gasp up more oxygen only for the fingers to tighten.<br/>Weak and swimming, it was easy for Oikawa’s other hand to wrap completely around his wrist, yank his arms behind him. He let go and Ken took a desperate inhale, feeling as Oikawa expertly wound his own scarf around his forearms. He couldn’t tell whether the numbness was from the tight ropes or his own mind.<br/>As Oikawa loomed over him, Ken desperately wished for Daisuke.</p><hr/><p>The carnage came into view as soon as they crested the hill. What used to be a vibrant village nestled in the valley, and while no one was there currently, Ken felt the ghosts all around them.<br/>He made plans with Daisuke to come back and fix it up. He had to. He didn’t remember doing this. He had.<br/>It was never going to end, every day Daisuke took him around the Digital World they found something new, some random wanton destruction he couldn’t even remember. He deserved the reminders.<br/>He deserved to feel like this. He deserved the pain.</p><hr/><p>Something was different with Ken. Daisuke didn’t know <em>what</em>, exactly, but he also couldn’t stop staring, trying to figure it out. Ken sat at his desk while Daisuke sprawled on his bed, legs dangling in the air with his notebook laying forgotten in front, too busy looking at Ken as he bit the end of his pencil. His lips wrapped around the thin hexagonal shape, a line of spit arcing out when he lit up, rushing to write whatever he had just thought of down. Finishing that, he turned to look Daisuke in the eye, lips crooking in a kind smile.</p><hr/><p>Everything was too loud, the world around them screamed, sharp mouths flickering in and out of existence. Ken’s lungs stopped working, staring at where the floor should be and instead just a pit of black extended out.<br/>He fell to his knees, remembering when he had felt this before, every muscle in his body tense and pained. The voices got louder and more distinct, words starting to form, mocking him with his hubris and the darkness. His neck burned, he cupped over it uselessly.<br/>Warmth draped over his back, soft lips kissing the nape of his neck, pulling him out.</p><hr/><p>Captain Miyako slapped her cards down with a flourish, her smug facade firmly in place, but Daisuke waggled his eyebrows, placing his hand down in a much more subdued manner.<br/>The straight flush stared up at them, Ken was caught in a fit of laughter at the way Miyako yelled and screamed, Daisuke nearly tipping his chair over as he leaned back.<br/>He felt as both of them turned to stare at him.<br/>“What?”<br/>“You’re glowing.” Daisuke smiled at him, the crinkles around his eyes soft.<br/>Ken felt his chest warming up under his gaze, smiling back as he shined.</p><hr/><p>“I like your rabbit.” The girl, Luna maybe, put her hand on Ken’s elbow, far too close.<br/>Ken smiled through her, stepping around to ostensibly get a textbook and actually to get away from wandering hands. “Thank you. My friend gave it to me.”<br/>“Oh? Does she go to our school?”<br/>Ken mumbled a no, making a hasty retreat out. He clutched the keychain in his fist, letting the thought of Daisuke, his radiant smile and warm skin brushing Ken’s hand, fill him up.<br/>On impulse, he turned right instead of left, heading toward the station instead of his apartment.</p><hr/><p>Halfway back to the TV they had hopped in from, Ken stumbled and fell to the ground, the gritty sand slicing his palm.<br/>“Are you okay, Ken-chan?” Leafmon cuddled into his chest.<br/>“I’m fine.”<br/>His chest felt empty, bereft of an echo that should never have been there. Not after everything. Not after -<br/><em>Funny. Thought it was funny. Make him feel just as bad as me</em><br/>Ken crawled the rest of the way home and threw himself into bed. The darkness settled back into bones. He thought - if he destroyed it -<br/><em>But that won’t make what you did go away</em></p><hr/><p>“I made you something!” Daisuke thrust the thin circle of blue and red intertwined together into Ken’s palms.<br/>“What is it?”<br/>“A friendship bracelet! Taichi-senpai taught me how to make one.”<br/>Ken ducked his head, trying to hide the growing smile on his face. “Thank you.”<br/>Daisuke slipped the ring around Ken’s wrist, giving his fingers a squeeze before letting Ken go entirely. He twisted his arm back and forth, admiring Daisuke’s work, what it meant.<br/>A tangible representation of their bond.<br/>“I will make sure to take good care of it.”<br/>Daisuke pulled Ken into a crushing bear hug.</p><hr/><p>When Daisuke got home, bouquet of flowers and box of fancy chocolate in hand, Ken immediately pulled him into a deep kiss that devolved quite rapidly into hands grabbing at and unbuttoning clothes. Ken’s delighted moans spurned Daisuke on as he slid over every inch of bared skin, Ken’s mouth all over his chest.<br/>He ended up sprawled on his back, Ken bouncing up and down in his lap, admiring the curve of his spine as he threw his head back in ecstasy. Ken did all the work, thighs riding him languorously as he and Ken became one.<br/>“Happy anniversary.”</p><hr/><p>“I feel silly.” Ken picked at the cheap polyester clinging to his skin, a semblance of a fancy outfit mass produced on the cheap.<br/>“You look great.” Hikari stood in her own outfit, so much worse than Ken’s. She’d tried to get him to wear a maid outfit as well, butler was bad enough.<br/>They went down one floor and rung the bell for Daisuke’s family apartment. Daisuke’s unmistakable footfalls could be heard outside, and he flung the door open.<br/>“Happy Hallo-“ Daisuke choked on his greeting when he saw Ken, sweeping eyes up and down, his pupils actively dilating.</p><hr/><p>Daisuke lounged all the way across his couch, taking up at least three people’s worth of space, his tongue sticking out slightly in concentration as he thumbed the joystick.<br/>He was a beautiful contradiction, simultaneously completely relaxed and wound up by the difficulty of the particular sequence he was trying to get through. Ken padded closer, and with no room anywhere else, climbed into Daisuke’s lap and laid on top of him.<br/>His shoved his face into Daisuke’s chest, felt as Daisuke shifted his arms around him, controller hitting his shoulders. Daisuke smelled like his parents laundry detergent, emanating warmth.</p><hr/><p>Daisuke wrapped his arms around Ken, greedily grabbing every inch he could reach. Ken, for his part, responded with caresses of his own, settling on Daisuke’s forearms as he leaned back to stare at Ken’s crumpled button up, his swollen lips.<br/>“I want to see you.”<br/>“Okay.” Ken popped his top button, only for Daisuke to grab his wrists, his arms gently pushed either side of his head. He swept two fingers along Ken’s jaw, down his throat and chest, drinking in every inch of skin slowly revealed.<br/>He hesitated at Ken’s waist, thumbing the top button of his pants.</p><hr/><p>Ken had disappeared into the shower and bath nearly half an hour ago. Daisuke had half a mind to barge in there and make sure he hadn’t drowned, staring at the closed door instead of getting anything ready for their sleepover.<br/>Finally, Ken stepped out. And he only had Daisuke’s towel wrapped around his waist, his hair sopping wet.<br/>“Where is your hair dryer?” He asked in that crisp clear tone that made Daisuke dizzy even when he wasn’t staring at Ken’s naked chest.<br/>“Buh - under the sink?” His voice broke on the last syllable.<br/>“Thanks.” Ken closed the door.</p><hr/><p>On his birthday a few days ago, Ken had told him, “I don’t understand why everyone is so nice to me.”<br/>“Because you’re totally amazing!”<br/>But Ken hadn’t seemed to hear, lost in a labyrinth of his own creation. Daisuke had hoped for a call from Ken. Instead he got Mrs. Ichijouji.<br/>“He won’t come out of his room.”<br/>Daisuke climbed the slats of Ken’s ladder with ease, sat up where Ken’s feet tucked into the wall. He laid a hand on Ken’s knee over the blankets, and waited.<br/>“... It’s been a year.”<br/>“Yeah.”<br/>“Have I really done enough?”<br/>“Yeah.”</p><hr/><p>Ken stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, no longer in step with Daisuke.<br/>“Ken? You okay?” Daisuke glanced back and forth between him and the kid they were following.<br/>He wasn’t. “Yeah, just needed - a breath.”<br/>Not that they were doing anything. The kids basically sat at home, doing schoolwork, inviting awful memories into Ken as he tried to <em>do something</em>. To not be worse than useless.<br/>“C’mon. Let’s take a break. Find some place to eat lunch.”<br/>“But what about -“<br/>“He’s in his house now. Nothing to be done about it.” Daisuke led him away from his failure.</p><hr/><p>Ken held Daisuke’s hand as he shouted into his headset.<br/>“You can cut it off if you tunnel left, Iori!” He squeezed Ken lightly before running, Ken pulled along with him. He followed, completely trusting in Daisuke.<br/>Sure enough, they managed to pincer the wild Digimon as Ken saw Iori pop out of the ground on the other end of the narrow road.<br/>The Digimon sent back home, Ken sidled behind Daisuke and laid his head on his shoulder.<br/>“Tired? Still up for dinner?”<br/>“Yes, you pick?”<br/>Daisuke laughed, petting Ken’s hair absentmindedly. “I always pick.”<br/>“You’re good at it.”</p><hr/><p>Ken flattened his uniform lapels completely unnecessarily, put on a good face for the commemorative photo. He gathered his books as efficiently as possible at his desk.<br/>“I’m Hiroki! Nice to meet you!” His new desk mate gave a friendly wave, and Ken returned the smile.<br/>“Ichijouji Ken. Nice to meet you.”<br/>Hiroki’s eyes squinted, examining Ken much closer now. “Huh. Your name sounds familiar.”<br/>“I have no idea why.” Ken closed his bag and said his goodbyes, rushing to where his parents waited outside.<br/>Daisuke was chatting with his mom and Ken’s heart soared at the sight of him.</p><hr/><p>The oppressive heat of the sun beat down on Daisuke’s back as he gulped down his water. He gasped down the last drop before dropping the bottle to the grass, looking over at Ken.<br/>Ken’s Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed his own water, sweat pooling along his hairline and leaving a sheen along his long hair. Daisuke stared on, unable to tear his eyes away from the way his mouth popped off the neck of the bottle, hair tousling back and forth with each shake of his head.<br/>“Let’s call it a day.”<br/>“Wanna come over?”</p><hr/><p>“I want you to have this.” Daisuke plopped the lanyard into Ken’s palm, the cool metal of the key on it digging into him.<br/>“... Your spare key?”<br/>“You basically live at my place anyway. And this way - “ Daisuke lifted his arms, rubbing the back of his head as he stared at the wall “ - you can just come right in whenever.”<br/>“Thank you.” Ken pulled Daisuke into a hug and a quick peck on the lips, smiling as Daisuke turned a bright red.<br/>“Sooooo what do you wanna do tonight? I got this new game with co op I wanna try.”</p><hr/><p>“You’re gonna love this place!” Daisuke crowed as he pulled Ken down the busy New York street, close to the shabby apartment he barely slept in.<br/>Ken inclined his head slightly. “Where are we going?”<br/>“Alejandro’s place! He’s got the <em>best</em> milkshakes.”<br/>They opened a dingy looking door that led into a chrome room full of little tchotchkes. As soon as Ken sat down in one of the booths a large pink drink was placed in front, mountains of whipped cream and a single bright cherry on top.<br/>He took a sip, lit up from the perfect strawberry sugar blend.</p><hr/><p>Daisuke chased after Ken’s lips, Ken’s arms wrapped around his middle and resting on his knee, tongue running along Ken’s perfect teeth. Ken moved up Daisuke’s leg, climbing his abdomen, all the way to his chest, right over his heart. The pads of his fingers hit his crest, and they both shuddered into the kiss for different reasons.<br/>“Yes.” Ken let Daisuke pull his hair back, move his lips down to Ken’s own crest, follow the embossed curves with the tip of his tongue.<br/>Ken’s love and pleasure pulsed through Daisuke as he projected as much as he could back.</p><hr/><p>There Ken was, waiting at the corner of the station, back not quite hitting the wall, much too proper to actually relax at all. Daisuke’s mouth quirked up as he tried to stifle laughter at his ridiculous friend, nodded his head to nothing.<br/>“Hey, Ken! Ready to go?”<br/>Ken’s whole face lit up in a dazzling smile that he quickly ducked behind a hand. “Yes.”<br/>“Wanna go to the beach?”<br/>Ken’s whole demeanor shifted, deflating. “... Can we ... do something else?”<br/>“Uh, sure, whatever you want! We can go to the mall or the Ferris wheel - “<br/>“Let’s do that. Ferris wheel.”</p><hr/><p>Ken swayed back and forth, waiting for the crosswalk. The cars zipping by all blended together into shapes and colors. He could just - walk forward.<br/>But Daisuke was waiting for him.<br/>He packed everything up in his head, buried it somewhere he hoped it would take awhile to crawl out of, the light changed from red to green. He climbed the steps up from the beach - stared out to the horizon.<br/>The water seemed calm but Ken could tell. The churning of the depths. He could wade into the shallows again, get pulled down.<br/>But Daisuke was waiting for him.</p><hr/><p>“Let’s get snacks!” Daisuke ducked into the Ai Mart, Ken trailing behind carrying the DVD rentals with both hands in front of him.<br/>While Daisuke raided the candy aisle, Ken strode to the counter. “Good evening, Miyako-san.”<br/>“Hey! Another movie night?” Miyako waggled her eyebrows, making Ken admire the new tiling on the floor.<br/>“We <em>just</em> watch movies.”<br/>Miyako leaned far too close to his ear. “You <em>could</em> do other things, while a movie happens to be playing.”<br/>Ken was saved by the return of Daisuke, basket so overflowing Ken had to catch a pudding cup that toppled off.</p><hr/><p>Daisuke hauled the next box down from the high top shelf, whistling as he dusted off the top. “So what do you think is in here?”<br/>Ken shrugged, hugging himself as he hovered next to his desk chair. “Mama keeps everything.”<br/>He flipped it open, revealing stacks and stacks of calligraphy paper, unsteady lines covering each piece until they abruptly changed. On one page, hesitation, the telltale marks at the end of each stroke. The next, perfect, clean, almost robotic.<br/>“Are these...” Daisuke let the papers fall from his hands. “.... both of yours?”<br/>“No. That’s - fourth grade.” Ken choked out.</p><hr/><p>“I have to get to the track field,” Ken panted before diving back into Daisuke’s mouth, back flush to the side of the gymnasium, bare legs freezing against the shaded concrete.<br/>“You’ve got some time.” Daisuke pushed Ken further into the wall.<br/>Ken ran his hands up and down Daisuke’s spine. “I - I can’t be late to the relay.”<br/>The bell rang out and Daisuke reluctantly pushed away from Ken, hands still bracketing him on either side of the wall.<br/>“Be back soon.” Ken gave him one last peck on the lips before running around the side of the building.</p><hr/><p>“What was your first trip to the Digital World like?” Daisuke asked with his arm nonchalantly draped over Ken’s shoulder, looking up at the ceiling of his bedroom.<br/>Ken leant further into Daisuke, needing his warmth. “It’s hard to explain.”<br/>Hard to comprehend, the siren call of the Digivice that Osamu had claimed as his own, the clippings like shredded newspaper he kept trying to piece together. Walking the world with Wormmon and - and - fighting - and - something - the seed, getting sick -<br/>“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Daisuke wiped his thumb on Ken’s cheek, catching the tears. “Let’s go for a walk?”</p><hr/><p>Daisuke laid Ken on the hull of Imperialdramon, draped over him as their minds linked, bodies synchronized, Ken’s heart pounding in Daisuke’s ears as he kissed him with all his might.<br/>Ken hooked his legs around Daisuke’s hip, letting his burning passion cut through him until his soul was flayed open and Daisuke could reach inside. His mouth found Daisuke’s temple, licking the sweat from his brow.<br/>The stars above them twinkled through the blue tinted shield, and Ken stared up, overwhelmed by the beauty combined with Daisuke’s steady beat holding him together. Completing him in ways he couldn’t articulate.</p><hr/><p>Ken hissed from his position half on the floor half laying over Daisuke’s bed while Daisuke rubbed the aloe into his red shoulders.<br/>“How did you even get burnt? I <em>saw</em> you covering yourself in sunscreen.”<br/>“We stayed too long and I didn’t reapply.”<br/>Daisuke smirked as he continued to rub Ken’s shoulder, sinking into the bed. “You’re such a delicate little flower.”<br/>Ken smiled back with teeth. “Just wait, I’ll show you how ‘delicate’ I am.”<br/>He made a grab for Daisuke’s thigh, pulling him into a wrestling match that ended with them utterly tangled together on the floor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Whumptober</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A full 30 days on INCREDIBLE whump. This ranges from super mild, like, Ken is embarrassed because he's afraid of the dark, to he's almost ritually sacrificed and body horror happens to him and other crazy stuff. It's all from the whumptober 2020 list</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ken shot awake, pulling the straps over his chest taut and bouncing back down to the bed. His wrists were bound in leather cuffs, carefully placed to fit snug but not too tight.<br/>
He was alone in this strange room, left in the dark with just his own dimming light from behind him illuminating the space. He wracked his brain for the last thing he remembered, but all he could think about was Daisuke. Daisuke’s glowing heart pushed close to him, Daisuke pulling him close by the neck, Daisuke whispering into his hair after.<br/>
He needed Daisuke, to save him.</p>
<hr/><p>The hexagonal fractal pulsated on Ken’s phone screen, brighter and brighter until it escaped out and engulfed him. He couldn’t stop staring at the brilliant blue, until his eyes slid shut and he fell to the floor, his phone skittering across it.<br/>
Then he was in Primary Village with Wormmon. Ryo happy by his side. The sky wasn't broken, clouds of happiness and games and no monsters, no Darkness forced inside him, no death.<br/>
Someone’s voice called out, pulled him up. The sun broke through the clouds.<br/>
He didn’t belong here. He belonged somewhere better.<br/>
Ken woke in Daisuke’s arms.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke fell right in front of him, their Jogress snapping as his body went limp, and Ken screamed. He screamed and screamed until someone came behind him, covered his mouth, not quite right fingernails digging into his cheek while another arm wrapped around him, holding his arms down to his sides.<br/>
He fought against the hold, struggled and tried to break away, but they were so strong. Gennai’s voice chuckled in his ear.<br/>
“I need to borrow your pretty little face. That will really fuck them up.”<br/>
Electricity shot through Ken from tip to tail, vision whiting out from the pain.</p>
<hr/><p>When the tunnel collapsed, Ken was plunged into absolute darkness. He couldn’t even see his own hands in front of his face.<br/>
The air turned stale, no longer flowing in and out, and Ken came to the realization that he was running out of air. Every gulp sent his head spinning from lack of oxygen. More dangerous than the dark that was more frightening.<br/>
The worst part was how Ken was sad Daisuke had disappeared on the other side of the break. He was so selfish, wanted to drag Daisuke down with him just for that comfort he would provide.</p>
<hr/><p>Waves breaking on the shore assaulted Ken’s ears, and he snapped his eyes open. All around him the stagnancy permeated, the air tasting old, the smell of the sea foam rotting.<br/>
He booked it, ran into the first escape he saw, a series of winding tunnels held up by planks of wood that stuck haphazardly into the sand.<br/>
He broke into a dilapidated pier full of broken windows, climbed into the least rotted out husk.<br/>
He held his breath as something lumbered past the door, then turned back around and threw it off its hinges, screamed as it grabbed him.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken dropped the knife and it clanged to the linoleum floor. He collapsed back into the wall, spreading blood down the wall from where he’d stabbed the back of his neck.<br/>
He couldn’t lift his arms anymore. He needed help.<br/>
Daisuke practically threw the bathroom door off its hinges as he rushed to Ken’s side, covering his neck with a towel.<br/>
“No no, you’ll get blood all over it.” Ken rolled to the side, trying to get away from the towel. “I’m not done yet anyway.”<br/>
“Not <em>done</em>?” Daisuke refused to back down, dampening the blood.<br/>
“Gotta get it out.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Just a little bit further.” Daisuke panted, holding up most of Ken’s weight with an arm slung around his waist as they climbed up, away from the flood and enemies below.<br/>
“I’m so tired, Daisuke.” Ken hissed as he jostled the stinging wound in his side. “I think - you should go on. I’ll be okay here.”<br/>
“Absolutely not!”<br/>
Daisuke shifted Ken onto his back, reached down and lifted him by the thighs, taking determined steps up as Ken held on to his own arms wrapped around his neck.<br/>
“I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay, as long as we’re together.”<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p>“You think they’re <em>actually </em>your friends?” Demon laughed in Ken’s face, straightening up and binding Ken’s wrists to the darkness all around them, shifting and formless.<br/>
“They are. They’ll find me.”<br/>
“You’re just a random group that was drafted into a war you don’t understand.”<br/>
Ken twisted away from Demon’s claws as they cupped his head, pulled back his hair to reveal his neck.<br/>
“So what if it was random?”<br/>
Daisuke had made it something else, had forced his friendship onto Ken and made him whole.<br/>
“No matter. They won’t recognize you by the time I’m done with you, anyway.”</p>
<hr/><p>Ken lay prone on the dais, arms and legs tied to posts at the points of the pentagram carved into it, his head in the last spot, neck on display from his ripped shirt and held in place by a heavy iron collar. The cold granite sucked what pitiful warmth his body could create from every point of bare skin.<br/>
Demon hovered over him, touched him delicately, almost reverently as he carefully anointed him with foul smelling greasy substances, patterns rubbed into his skin that seeped below and made him feel fuzzy.<br/>
“It is time, for him to be reborn.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Go on, open up, let him out,” Demon cooed, claws dragging down Ken’s back in sharp, jagged lines that burnt. “Remember how good it felt before?”<br/>
Darkness creeped at the edges of Ken’s mind, crackling thorns sticking out of twisted roots that stabbed and ripped and tore at him. The only thing he could do was scream.<br/>
Then someone was there, a golden whisper that grew louder and louder until the thrum of light drowned out the darkness and Ken opened his eyes to see concerned brown ones.<br/>
Daisuke was covered in blood, but no obvious wounds. “I’ve got you.”</p>
<hr/><p>“What are you putting on my ceiling?” Ken returned to his room from his nightly bath to find Daisuke on his knees in his loft, pushing something up into the solid stucco.<br/>
“I found these glow in the dark stars in America!” Daisuke brandished one, the pale green glow nothing in comparison to Daisuke’s crest. “I thought they might help, for when I’m not here.”<br/>
Ken grimaced at the confirmation that Daisuke <em>knew</em>. He knew Ken barely slept when they were apart, trapped in the darkness, unable to stop the tears flowing as it seemed to press physically upon him.</p>
<hr/><p>“Ichijouji-kun .... what happened?” Hikari hesitated on every word, clearly burning to know but not wanting to intrude on him.<br/>
Without the adrenaline and righteous anger, Ken crumpled. Fists tightened around the drape of his scarf, no longer feeling warm and cozy but like it was strangling him. He could still feel Oikawa’s rough hold as he tied him up, the hand on his shoulder pulling him back into the scanner.<br/>
A different hand, warmer and smaller and oh so gentle, squeezed his knee and Ken’s eyes flew open to find Daisuke, contorted from his spot in the front seat.</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke rushed into Ken’s room the second visiting hours started, toting with him a variety of games and books. His eyes slid to Ken’s nose, the tubes still shoved inside and keeping his oxygen levels up.<br/>
“What do you wanna do first?”<br/>
Ken opted for a book, a fantasy light novel that was just his usual taste, and quickly Daisuke moved from his spot in the guest chair to next to Ken, head resting on his chest as he played his new PSP.<br/>
“Thank you for coming to visit today.”<br/>
Daisuke grunted instead of using words, burrowing further into Ken.</p>
<hr/><p>Flames licked the side of Ken’s face, bending so close he felt the scorching heat coming off them even as he tried to fight to get closer. Daisuke rushed into the wall of fire separating them, forced back by a sudden rush of increased heat. The smoke billowed out, tangy and dark, making Ken cough against the poison and acrid scent.<br/>
“I’ll find you! I’ll save you!” Daisuke’s voice barely made it to his ears over the crackling all around him.<br/>
Claws grabbed his biceps, and Ken scrambled to dig his heels into the grass and dirt of the forest.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken’s neck exploded, whipping roots pouring out of him and tying his arms and legs together, burrowing into the ground. He didn’t scream, because he couldn’t, his eyes glazing over as a single stem grew from the crown of his head, blood red petals blooming and growing bigger and bigger until they engulfed him, a pulsing tomb of darkness holding him tight.<br/>
His own voice laughed in his ear, whispering all his worst thoughts back at him, he was horrible, disgusting, always demanding attention and leeching off everyone he didn’t deserve.<br/>
Energy flowed all around, coalescing into a monstrous shape.</p>
<hr/><p>The oppressive fog rolling through the air around them made Ken falter. It felt familiar. He turned to where Daisuke was - except he wasn’t anymore, disappeared into the mist. Ken’s eyes darted every which way, maybe he had just gotten turned around, nothing. Instead, the rush of water crashing onto rocks grew louder and louder until Ken could only clutch his ears trying to stave off the noise.<br/>
Water filled up the world, lapping at his legs, cold, hard things grabbing at him, trying to pull him further under -<br/>
His fact stung with a familiar force and Ken refocused onto Daisuke.</p>
<hr/><p>“I know your secret.” Yuna came up to him during lunch, her grin broad and showing too many teeth.<br/>
“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”<br/>
Yuna brandished a picture under Ken’s nose, and his eyes widened, reaching to snatch it from her grasp too late as she flicked it back into her pocket.<br/>
Daisuke had surprised him last week, come to school, convinced him to make out. And now she had it.<br/>
“What do you want?”<br/>
“Hmmmm.” She lifted her index finger to her mouth, looking far too terrifying in her delight. “That <em>is</em> the question.”</p>
<hr/><p>One second, he was fine, hanging out at their impromptu get together in the Digital World, and the next. The world swam, and Ken couldn’t stop wheezing, gulping breaths simultaneously making his lungs ache and not giving him nearly enough air, and he ran into the furthest corner of the meadow.<br/>
He spread his fingers in the grass as he collapsed to his knees, grabbed it hard and yanked without any blades coming out of the ground, his mind screaming at nothing in particular until it finally stopped and he could feel Daisuke hovering behind him.<br/>
“I’m going home now.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Will you stay over tonight?” Ken asked like it was actually a question.<br/>
“Will you sleep in the loft?”<br/>
“Will you ... hold me?”<br/>
As soon as Daisuke had wrapped his arms around Ken’s middle, he curled into his chest, hands grasping at his pajama top as the front slowly got wetter and wetter where Ken’s face was smashed into it.<br/>
Daisuke stroked up and down Ken’s spine as he cried, sobbing that slowly evened out until he was able to speak again.<br/>
“... It’s my fault.”<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“He’s dead because of me. If I hadn’t gone out - he wouldn’t have - pushed -“</p>
<hr/><p>Ken felt his leg snap as he slid down the cliff, taking the brunt of the impact and he collapsed from the pain.<br/>
Daisuke followed on XV-mon’s back, fell to his knees next to him. “What do you need?”<br/>
Ken tried to think through the pain, focusing his eyes on Daisuke’s face. “You gotta - find some straight branches and splint it.”<br/>
“Okay, okay, I can do that.” Daisuke disappeared into the trees and ran back with two long branches.<br/>
“Put one on each side and tie them together.”<br/>
“Uh, uh, okay.” Daisuke stripped his shirt off and started tearing.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken had stopped shivering a few minutes ago, as the cold buried into his bones and replaced his marrow with itself. He could feel hands on him, pulling his sweater off, and he pushed ineffectually at them, the way they slid over his chest, pressed him close to something burning into his back.<br/>
When the hands undid his pants, Ken went limp, the world not quite coalescing into anything but dark as he was pushed under something soft and warm, pressed down, too tired to fight it.<br/>
“You can’t go to sleep, not yet.”<br/>
Ken thought he knew that voice.</p>
<hr/><p>By the time Ken realized what the aftertaste in his tea was, he was already half asleep, being led to a back room and sat down in a chair, ropes tied around his wrists and ankles as his head lolled back and forth, unable to lift it up to look at his captor.<br/>
The nice man who ran his favorite tea shop grabbed his hair and forced his head up, something sharp and white flashed over his vision as his neck was pricked, the man’s face buried into it.<br/>
Ken heaved, fought, cried and went still as he lost consciousness.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken jarred awake, his blanket thrown over the railing and dangerously close to falling completely to the floor, the sounds of night filtering in through his window, a piercing siren ensuring he wouldn’t get back to sleep soon.<br/>
He tried to breathe, calm his racing heart after the scene dancing under his eyelids, everything still clinging to him like gossamer. He checked the clock, the damning 3:28 blinking back at him, and sighed.<br/>
He wasn’t getting back to sleep after that. Ken desperately tried not to think of endless desert and hurtful words. Tried not to think at all.</p>
<hr/><p>His throat itched. No matter what he did, it wouldn’t go away. No medicine alleviated the scratchiness, the way his voice broke if he talked for too long or too loud.<br/>
“How are you feeling today?” Daisuke asked as he stroked his throat, wrapped loosely around him.<br/>
Ken’s reply caught in his vocal cords, suddenly gone taut and closing up his windpipe. He choked and clawed at his neck, unable to breathe, unable to convey the wrongness as his voice came out sickly sweet, the scent of strange flowers on his breath.<br/>
“Better than ever,” he said against his will.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken covered his ears too late, getting a full blast of the sound wave that sent him falling off Stingmon as his head rang. Daisuke swooped down, catching him in both arms, one under his knees and the other holding his back.<br/>
Daisuke’s mouth moved, but Ken heard nothing. He started hyperventilating as he realized he could only hear a soft, uniform ringing, no more sounds of battle or the yelling voices of their friends.<br/>
Daisuke carried him away as quick as possible, set him down in a quiet glade. Ken strained to read his lips, sure he was wrong.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken groaned, burying his face in his pillow as the right side of his head was pounded, the pain like an ice pick going into his eye socket. He’d already turned his phone off, the harsh ringing going off every half an hour too much, the only light in the whole room his nightlight. It hurt less than it would to be completely in the dark.<br/>
A knock at his door had him hissing, and someone padded up his ladder, climbing into his bed.<br/>
“Are you -“<br/>
“No talking.”<br/>
Daisuke snuggled up to his back, spooning close.<br/>
Ken tried to sleep.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken burrowed closer to Daisuke under the blankets when the TV blinked out, a massive roll of thunder shaking the both of them.<br/>
“Darn, power outage,” Daisuke sighed, relaxing into the couch, curling his arm further around Ken.<br/>
“Do you ... have any flashlights?”<br/>
Daisuke shrugged, confident Ken would be able to feel and understand when he couldn’t see, given how close he was plastered to Daisuke’s side.<br/>
“... Candles?”<br/>
“We don’t really need anything like that?”<br/>
“Daisuke.” Ken’s hands shook as he reached for Daisuke’s shoulders. “I ... would really like some light.”<br/>
A lightbulb turned on in Daisuke’s brain. “Oh. Okay.”</p>
<hr/><p>Daisuke had stared down evil Digimon without breaking a sweat. He knew how to handle himself against enemies that seemed insurmountable, and how to overcome them.<br/>
The only thing he knew to do when the stranger pulled a gun on him and Ken in the alleyway was stand in front.<br/>
“Give me all your cash,” he slurred out, alcohol so strong on his breath Daisuke could feel a buzz coming on.<br/>
“Okay.” Ken grabbed his bicep from behind, pulling him closer. “Whatever you want, just -“<br/>
“Now!” He waved the gun in the air, shot the ground next to Daisuke’s feet.</p>
<hr/><p>Ken struggled to sit up, the heat emanating from his body overwhelming, sheets sticking to him and shivering as soon as he was freed from them. He croaked out a pathetic cry, “Daisuke?”<br/>
“I’m here!” Daisuke opened the door, mask in place, aborting a movement to crash into Ken and hold him close. “What are you doing?”<br/>
“Need water.”<br/>
“Stay in bed, I’ll get some.”<br/>
Ken groaned as Daisuke disappeared again, falling back to the futon in frustration even as his muscles ached from that slight movement. He huffed out some air and curled up, waiting for Daisuke to return.</p>
<hr/><p>Something in Ken’s chest cracked as he bent backwards, guided by Daisuke’s hands down onto a smooth, flat rock. He ignored the sharp, jabbing pain that occurred with each thrust inside, too desperate for Daisuke to consider anything else.<br/>
When he finished, Ken sat up and hissed at the halo of pain coming from his side, clutching to his abdomen with both hands.<br/>
“Are you okay?” Daisuke’s eyes widened as he gasped. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”<br/>
“No, I just -“ Ken breathed and the pain swelled.<br/>
“I’ll get you to a doctor.”<br/>
Ken contorted his side, draped over Daisuke.</p>
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